~The Many Faces Of
Lupus~
~by Sheila~
They saw the bruising, and the swollen
glands, and thought it
was Hodgkin's Disease or Leukemia, but the tests showed
it was not.
She was 24.
They saw the loss of weight and the exhaustion and
thought she
was dieting excessively, but after weeks in hospital
and twice
daily weighing, they knew she was not.
And when over the many months of tests and despite
the fact she
worked very hard between the frequent bad spells,
they sent her
away and told her she was attention seeking, but she
was not.
When she became confused, with headaches and bleeding
and
bruising they said she had a nervous breakdown and
sectioned her
to a psychiatric hospital and gave her Electro Convulsive
Therapy. But then she got wise to their ways and never
told them of the pain. They gave her medicine that
rendered her
unconscious, and put her in a room with no handle
on the inside. So she never complained again. She
also put the tablets under her tongue, and then spit
them
out when they left, so she started to recover.
She saw the shame on her families faces, and vowed
never again
would she let them suffer.
They expected her to try suicide, she expected to
live her life.
She won, she was 26.
And through all the pain and the bleeding, and the
swollen
joints and painful muscles, through the loss of teeth
and hair,
their tests were inconclusive and they said it was
her imagination.
She was 28.
Then a doctor sat on her hospital bed and told her
all about
SLE, the course of the disease, and the prognosis,
which was
poor. He told her the 'breakdown' had been a brain
hemorrhage.
Then he gave her advice, wished her well and bade
her good bye.
She was 30.
Her dear mother never knew what was happening, but
loved her,
then left her when she died suddenly....
She was 32
Her father in later years was told about Lupus, but
closed his
ears, for he didn't understand, and thought she should
get on with things and not complain. He loved her
dearly,
but the doctors were always right.!! And they never
agreed,
these doctors. Some said yes to lupus, some said it
was all
in the mind. Her father died in 89. She went into
a Nursing Home,
they said she would die. She left the NH. She wouldn't
die.!!
She was 47.
A very condensed story, but a familiar one to many
sufferers of
Lupus, the many faces of this illness.
She is still here, despite being told her time on earth
was
nearly over many times.
She is now 58.
She is Dimples.
She is Sheila.
She is me.
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~Soul Shaping~
~By Shar~
All the challenges this life may bring,
the hardships that we face;
are meant to teach our souls to sing
and grow to live with grace.
The way we strive to reach our goals,
the faith that we create;
are tools by which we shape our souls
to slip through heaven's gate.
© XNTRX 1998
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~THE WOLF~
~ by Sherry~
This wolf is silent, moving like a ghost
throughout he night.
Attacking the innocents, first on the left
side, next on the right.
Not a sound does this wolf make as he downs
his prey
But he leaves his mark on them as he sulks
away.
Not a bite mark to be found when his deed
is done,
The wolfs' attack is over and he's back on
the run.
The victim is left lying in bed fast asleep,
unaware,
Of the ravage done to her body, as the wolf
had no care.
She awakes, very weak and so tired she can
only cry,
Staggering over to the mirror, she's wondering
why.
Her hand softly brushes across her neck and
her chest,
Questioning the strange red rash and her skin
that weeps.
Her joints are stiff as she stumbles back
to the bed,
Softly crying, she's scared by sharp pains
in her head.
She clasps her head with hands that are swollen
too,
The wolf has stepped out, she's left with
no clue.
Lupus means wolf in some foreign tongue
For this young lady the fight has just begun.
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~By Ash~
If this is the indifference that we all live
with,
I don't want to be normal.
If this is the pain we are to feel,
I want nothing else in my life.
The time passes like water in a bowl,
rippling with each new day.
The pain comes and goes like winter weather.
The healing process is long, like the summer
season.
The heat is exhausting like the morning sun.
The rain is soothing.
The rain wrote the perfect song tonight.
One with a melody so sweet.
A melody of health,
a melody of wellness.
Time after time, the rain sings a beautiful
song to those of us
who find the lyrics close to our hearts.
Too often, we are the only ones who see the
beauty behind the rain.
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~Earth Angels~
~By Shar~
Each teardrop shed for another's pain
contains the salt of kindness.
Each stalwart smile throughout the rain
is golden grace stirred in us.
All angelic presence known need not
be held in heaven's bound,
While angels on this earth are wrought
to fly so closely to the ground.
© XNTRX 1998
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